Momentary Lapse
by NineHundredThirteen
Summary: Naruto never liked to fail, but for once, he was glad he did. Sequel to Attention Span, but could stand alone. NaruSai, and some implied NaruSasu and NaruHina. M for a reason.


Momentary Lapse

Summary: Naruto never liked to fail, but for once, he was glad he did. Sequel to Attention Span, but could stand alone. NaruSai and some implied NaruSasu and NaruHina. M for a reason.

...

A kiss was planted in the center of his shoulder blades and Naruto withheld the urge to recoil in disgust. More kisses were planted and the blond spoke lowly under his breath in warning. "Sai," he began, certain that he will snap in any moment and turn around to rip Sai away from his body, "leave me alone."

Behind him he heard Sai grunt an acknowledgment but didn't removed his rough lips and wet tongue off Naruto's exposed backside. Naruto let out an impatient groan and twisted his shoulder to displace the dark-haired ninja. Standing up he pulled a light-blue shirt over his head and walked out of Sai's bedroom door. Naruto was ready to get out of there as he located his pants that were laying in the middle of the living room and tugged them on.

From the bedroom, where Naruto had left, Sai emerged and the raven looked on curiously. "Why the hurry?" he asked as he watched Naruto buckle his pants and shove his feet into sandals.

Naruto spared him a glance and reached for his coat that was sprawled on the couch cushion. "I don't want to stick around and do _that_ again." Naruto had learned long ago to be calloused and straightforward with people. Specially Sai. Mostly Sai.

Sai frowned and he lacked any modestly as he leaned on his bedroom doorway completely naked. "Your tone suggests you're angry but I have done nothing to anger you."

Naruto sighed and opened the door, one foot already outside as he glanced at Sai one more time. "You've known since the beginning. Don't push your luck now." He was gone before Sai could blink. The raven, with a frown, retreated back into his bedroom and flopped down on the bed. It was a shame that Naruto wasn't willing to go another round. Usually they would. It was automatic and routine to screw like rabbits. But lately, Naruto was leaving earlier and earlier. His blue-eyed gaze not being so bright and attentive as before.

Did I do something, Sai thought. Was something wrong? Sai raked his brain and mentally consulted all his research books on relationships. So far he had done nothing wrong, from what he could tell anyway, but Naruto seemed to get angrier and more distant.

Oh well, as Naruto had said, 'don't push your luck'. This relationship was based purely on sex. On physical feeling, not emotion. Sai understood that Naruto was suffering because of Sasuke and so Sai was merely comforting the blond. Sai was a willing substitute. What was changing?

* * *

Naruto ran a hand through his shaggy locks and grimaced. He would usually shower at Sai's place but now he was beginning to forgo the shower and just leave with his day-old ruffled clothes. Even then it was beginning to be rare for Naruto to spend the night. After three months of a relationship based on solely sex- Naruto was ready to leave it behind.

But every time Naruto was on the verge of ending it, something happened, and Naruto found himself in Sai's bed again. The blond sighed as he let the morning sun shine on his face. Some days he barely felt like himself. He knew that his old-self would of never had started such a shallow relationship. Naruto cursed under his breath as he shaded his eyes from the heated rays of the sun.

This was all Uchiha Sasuke's fault. It's been over six years since Sasuke's departure from the village. Six years of the Uchiha being a rouge ninja and six years of chasing after him with no success. And it was four years ago when Naruto realized that his obsession with Sasuke ran deeper, forbidden feelings that always quaked his chest and roamed his dreams on dark, lonely nights.

Naruto grunted with annoyance as he reached his front door and discovered that it was locked. He quickly jumped to his window and slid inside. He removed a piece of clothing with each step until he reached the bathroom where he turned on the shower and stepped in without waiting for the water to warm.

The icy cold water hit his skin and Naruto welcomed the sting as he got a washcloth and rubbed his skin with soap. He scrubbed extra hard when he thought about the areas where Sai had touched him. He silently vowed to himself that he wouldn't return to Sai's bed… but even as he made the promise he knew that he was lying to himself.

He was going to return to Sai's bed because it was only then where the thirst for Sasuke would cool. The water started to warm and Naruto only stood there as it washed over him. When he was with Sai he could pretend that the body underneath him was actually Sasuke. Their skin color was similar, along with the hair and eye color, it was easy enough to pretend.

Naruto closed the water and stepped out and reached for a towel to wrap around his waist. He was disgusted with himself. He felt like shit…all the time. Looking at the mirror Naruto silently scrutinize himself. His blond hair was getting longer, he didn't have time to cut it properly, every now and then Naruto would just get a kunai and cut off an annoying strand but that was it. And then there was his blue-eyes, they weren't as bright as before, Naruto himself noticed and so have others. Stress lines on his forehead were disturbingly forming and the carefree attitude that he was known for, had turned somewhat dark.

The blond wasn't sure how long he would be able to continue this…but he knew that it was slowly destroying him. Naruto exited the bathroom and tugged on a pair of sweatpants, he didn't bother with a shirt, and he headed toward the kitchen. With water set to boil the blond pulled out a pack of instant ramen to eat.

A sigh was about to leave his mouth until the doorbell rang. With a raised eyebrow Naruto turned off the stove and made his way toward the door. He hastily opened it, without even bothering to check who was on the other side, as it turned out, it was Hinata.

"Oh, hi, Hinata-chan," said Naruto with a smile that was half-forced. He was still feeling crappy about this morning, but Hinata was such a sweet girl that Naruto couldn't help but smile. Her lavender eyes widened and a cute blush spread on her cheeks as she spluttered out incoherent words. "What?" he questioned as she pointed at his chest. "Oh!" Naruto stated, embarrassed that he forgot he had no shirt on. "Excuse me."

Naruto quickly went to his bedroom and grabbed a shirt that was laying on the ground. "To what do I owe the visit?" the blond called out.

Hinata hesitantly stepped through the door when Naruto waved her over. The blond turned the stove back on and stirred his ramen. He gestured for the Hyuuga to sit down, she refused and awkwardly stood at the doorway. "I came to say t-that we have a m-mission…"

"Mission?" Naruto questioned as he poured ramen into a bowl and set it down on the table.

"Y-Yes…"

Naruto began to eat and then the thought occurred to him that he didn't offer any to Hinata. "Oh, I'm sorry, Hinata-chan. Would you like some ramen? I can easily heat some up for you."

"No…t-that's alright, Naruto."

Naruto began eating again and he peered up when he realized that Hinata wasn't going to talk. "So…the mission?" He prompted.

"Ah!" She blushed and quickly hooked her fidgeting hands behind her back as she began to explain their mission details. "Hokage is sending us to the western border t-to recon on a possible i-invasion."

Naruto swallowed the noodles in his mouth, "invasion?" He echoed.

"Yes,…the Mist are putting up an outpost d-dangerously close to the border. We are to assess their intent and recon their numbers."

Naruto finished off his noodles and set the bowl aside as he nodded his head in contemplation. "Let me guess,.." Naruto drawled, "Tsunade sends you because of your bloodline ability- which would be useful for this type of recon mission… and she is sending me because I am the Jinchuuri."

Hinata stepped forward earnestly, "Naruto, that's not-"

"It's okay, Hinata-chan." The Jinchuuri interrupted. "I understand the…the rules of war, or whatever you call it. If the Mist find us scooping around and they attack, they risk attacking Konoha's treasure, me, which is a prelude to war. They won't risk that."

Hinata bit her lip.

"So…when do we leave?" Naruto asked, standing up and setting his bowl into the kitchen sink, and facing Hinata as he leaned back against the counter and folded his arms across his chest.

The dark-haired ninja peered up at Naruto. Naruto had grown taller over the years, his chest and shoulders were broader, and his face features were sharper. He was so…handsome…

Hinata blushed at her train of thought and that blush spread to her neck when she realized she was staring. "Um…a- at s-seven, seven!" She hastily turned and stumbled out of the blond-haired ninja's apartment.

Naruto blinked at her sudden departure and then couldn't help the smile that overcame his face.

...

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto grinned as he spotted his pink-haired teammate sitting on a bench that was nicely shaded by a tree. "What are you doing here?"

"Naruto…" she began with a hint of confusion. "Wow, I haven't seen you smile like that in such a long time."

The blond halted when he realized that she was right. This was the first time in…forever when he has felt like his old-self. This morning he was thoroughly unhappy, but ever since his conversation with Hinata… Naruto grinned again. He just couldn't get over how cute she looked. "I guess I'm just in a good mood." Naruto said as a type of explanation. "Anyways, what are you up to?"

To Naruto's surprise, Sakura turned away with a blush on her cheeks. "I'm just…"

Naruto straightened up and slapped a fist into his palm. "Oh! You have a date, don't you!"

Sakura gave a fierce scowl, "hush!" She hissed at Naruto's loud voice. "It's not a date." She quickly denied.

"Is it that nurse guy? Haru?" Naruto questioned.

Sakura snapped her gaze on him, "how do you know that? And he's not a nurse!"

Naruto gave a one-shoulder shrug, "well, he's not a medical nin. What else would you call him? And it was quite obvious by the way he was looking at you when I was visiting the hospital last week."

Sakura seemed to brighten, "Really! He was really looking at me?" Naruto smiled at her and Sakura blushed again. "I mean…we're just friends who are going to have lunch. That's it!"

Naruto held up his hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay, no need to convince me, Sakura."

Sakura huffed and asked Naruto where he was heading off too.

"Ah, I thought I would get some training in before I leave on a mission."

"That's just like you…Haven't you been overexerting yourself lately? The next time you are hospitalized from chakra exhaustion I won't be so nice to you."

"Are you ever?" Naruto joked. Sakura raised a fist and Naruto jumped back and pointed a finger down the street. "Look, it's Haru!"

"Where?" Sakura twisted around and Naruto fled.

...

Naruto wiped the sweat off his brow and looked up at the setting sun. Maybe Sakura was right. Ever since his 'relationship'(it hurt to call it that), with Sai had started taking an emotional toll, Naruto has been punishing his body with harsh training and little time to recuperate afterwards.

He heaved a sigh and was not surprised in the least when Sai's voice sounded behind him. "Training again, Naruto?"

The blond-haired ninja turned around and faced the annoyingly, blank countenance of Sai. "Why do you always find me when I don't want to be found?"

Sai didn't reply and he kept his dark-eyes locked onto Naruto's blue ones. "You seem tense," was all he said. It was Sai's way of starting a conversation.

It was…funny, the way Sai would still attempt small talk. How he wanted to be Naruto's 'friend', even though they had crossed that line a long time ago. Naruto chuckled, the sound holding no amusement. "What is it that you want, Sai?" He demanded tiredly.

Sai shrugged, "I heard you're going on a mission."

Naruto gave a offhanded nod as he walked off the training ground and toward the tree line. He took off his overlaying coat, briefly fanned himself, and leaned back against a trunk of a tree. "Yeah,….near the border of the Mist."

Sai raised an eyebrow and took a few steps toward Naruto. "You know," he began to say in a light voice, "Sasuke was last spotted in the Mist."

Naruto groaned and rolled his head back. "Why do you do that? You know as well as I do, that Sasuke was last spotted in the Rock Country. You just have to mention Sasuke's name no matter what, don't you?"

Sai stepped forward until he was directly in front of Naruto. "I mention him because the probability of you accepting this kiss is increased by sixty percent."

Sai then proceeded to plant a kiss on Naruto's lips. The blond slumped back against the tree truck with sudden exhaustion. Sai was right. Normally, Naruto wouldn't accept a sudden kiss from Sai. But when Sai would mention Sasuke's name, casual that it might seem- but Naruto knew better- he couldn't help but kiss back. His sweet imagination letting him trick his mind and body into thinking that he was actually kissing Sasuke.

Sai pressed closer to him and Naruto growled. His pent-up stress and anger overwhelming his senses as he grabbed the dark-haired ninja's shoulders, twisting them so that Sai was now the one against the tree trunk. He felt, more than heard, Sai moan his satisfaction at Naruto's aggressiveness. How did Sai become this master manipulator? Naruto could only conclude that his will was weak, his strength broken down by months of poor judgment and shallow pleasure. But shallow pleasure was still pleasure after all.

The blond deepened the kiss and he felt Sai's hands tangle into his hair. Annoyed by the gesture, he pushed the ex-root ninja more harshly against the rough texture of the tree trunk and was satisfied by the hiss of pain that followed. Sai rolled his hips and their clothed erections came into contact with each other which had them both inhaling a shaky breath.

"Fuck…" Naruto cursed as he buried his face into a pale neck. "I got a mission…have to be at the gates at seven. "

Sai trailed his hands down the blonds' chest and began unbuttoning Naruto's pants. "Nine minutes… we got nine minutes." he whispered hotly into Naruto's ears.

Naruto growled again and bit into the smooth neck before he ordered Sai to remove his pants and turn around. Sai did as told and he braced his hands on the tree and rested his forehead against the surface. The blond quickly spit into his hand and roughly pushed two fingers into Sai's entrance without warning. Sai didn't make a sound, his body shuddering as Naruto placed his other hand on Sai's lower back to hold him there. "Let's make this quick." Naruto breathed.

Sai looked over his shoulder with an amused look. "Do you know any other way?"

Naruto retaliated by entering a third finger and Sai hissed at the hot friction. Once he felt that Sai had somewhat adjusted to the fingers he pulled them back and lowered his pants. With one powerful thrust he entered the willing body before him.

They echoed each others moans and Naruto pulled out only to thrust back in again. It was fierce, fast, and in it's own twisted way- passionate. "Fuck…" Naruto breathed as the pleasure rushed his veins, his voice of conscious and reason, affectedly drowned out.

...

"Sorry I'm late, Hinata-chan!" Naruto exclaimed as he approached the front gates. He took a second to catch his breath and he gave Hinata an apologetic smile. "I was…was training and um…lost track of time." He cleared his throat and smoothed out the front of his jacket self-consciously.

"It's okay, N-Naruto-kun. I didn't wait l-long.." Hinata replied with a blush and her eyes astray toward the main gates. "Are you ready?"

Naruto smiled at Hinata's shyness and readjusted his bag strap on his shoulder. He was glad he prepared his traveling bag ahead of time or else he would of been more late and he hated to make a lady wait. "Yup!"

They traveled in companionable silence. Walking at an even pace knowing that it would take a good three days to reach the border and perhaps half a day more to locate the enemy outpost. Hinata, graciously, prepared the meals while Naruto secured there camp site for the night. They took shifts sleeping and the blond-haired ninja watched the calm, peaceful features of a sleeping Hinata.

Naruto covered his face in irritation. The heat from the small fire before him washing over his body and the crackling sounds sounding in the night sky. Naruto was punishing himself. Silently berating himself for giving into pleasure at the training grounds. He sighed and sat back, his gaze set on the fire. Fire…it reminded him of Sasuke. Fuck, everything reminded him of Sasuke, when he wanted it to, that is.

It was twisted and so….stupid that he had feelings for Sasuke. Sasuke had left the village before puberty had fully hit. Sasuke was his rival, best friend, and he would even go as far as to call him 'brother'. But…ever since that one night, where a sudden dream sprouted, out of nowhere, when he realized the attraction he had always felt toward Sasuke was a sexual one, since then his life has slowly spiraled out of control.

Naruto groaned and flung his head back to view the stars up above. He felt so lonely and pathetic…

Hinata tossed in her sleep and Naruto cast his blue gaze toward her. He had never forgotten about Hinata's confession. She had confessed to him so openly and bravely, in a middle of a battle no less, and Naruto's only reaction was to decline.

He told her that he was grateful for her feelings toward him but he had matters to settle before he could ever start thinking about matters of the heart. That was a lame excuse and worst of all, he was all too aware of it. Back then he had no idea why he had declined her so quickly. The simple thought of anyone even liking him in that sense, was in itself, bizarre. His solitary childhood had screwed him up more than he liked to admit.

Naruto looked up toward the night sky again. Maybe…maybe he should give Hinata a chance. Perhaps, a normal relationship would put Naruto on the right track. Well, it may not be the _right _track but it would definitely be better then the one he was on now. Self-destruction just didn't suit him.

Naruto shook is head in frustration. No, he couldn't do that to Hinata. She was too sweet and delicate. He couldn't use her. Plus, Hinata felt forbidden. When she had asked for a simple kiss, so that their friendship would hold- since it had gotten awkward after she had confessed-, it had felt… wrong. As though, if he was to hold her too tightly, she would break. Naruto couldn't be gentle, especially not now, not anymore…

It was a shame. Hinata would of done him some good.

...

It was two and a half days later when they finally arrived at the border where they easily spotted the enemy outpost. It was located in a small, isolated valley and Hinata quickly used her jitsu to collect information. Naruto stayed at her side, in case of an attack, and dispatched some clones to patrol the area.

The outpost was small. It was in it's first stages of being established. Under twenty ninjas, none of them above chuunin level, and a small mining team were digging into the side of the mountain. Overall the outpost didn't seem to be one of war. No hostility was interpreted. If anything they seemed to be on edge, the mining team working nonstop. Perhaps they were looking for something? Whatever it was, Hinata and Naruto concluded they should report back to the Hokage for further orders.

Hinata was already standing up when Naruto suddenly went very still.

"What's wrong, Naruto?" She asked.

"One of my clones…" Naruto's eyes widened, "was attacked…by Sasuke."

...

It took over a week to return to Konoha. Once there, they reported to the Hokage, as was protocol, and Hinata and Naruto went their separate ways. Hinata to the Hyuuga Manor and Naruto directly to Sai's apartment.

Naruto, with his breathing slowly growing unsteady, pounded on the apartment door. The force was enough to tear it off it's hinges and Naruto was seriously considering doing that if Sai wasn't going to answer in two seconds.

Luckily, Sai did answer but he didn't even get out a greeting before Naruto charged inside and roughly pressed his lips against Sai's. The dark-haired ninja made a sound of surprise and couldn't even respond to the kiss before Naruto lifted him up and carried him to the bedroom.

Sai landed on the bed, bouncing once before he sat upright and scooted himself further up the bed. "What's going on, Naruto?" Sai managed to ask, before Naruto also climbed onto the bed.

"Don't talk," The blond demanded.

Sasuke _wasn't supposed to be in the Mist. Naruto simply wasn't prepared for it. Sasuke was established in the Bingo Book over four years ago. Meaning that a bounty was on his head, not just by Konoha, but by practically all the Hidden Ninja Villages. If spotted, Sasuke was to be killed on site, and if possible- the possibility slim to none- captured alive to be punished for his crimes. So…Naruto attacked_.

The belly-shirt that Sai always wore, that Naruto not-so-secretly hated, was ripped off. Naruto leaned down and bit a nipple. Drawing a drop of blood and a short cry from Sai.

Once _all of Naruto's clones were defeated, the blond found Sasuke perched on a treetop. Even without seeing one another in over a year, the familiarly they always felt toward each other was still there and as fresh as ever. "Sasuke," Naruto whispered_.

Sai squirmed underneath him, but Naruto held fast. His grip bruising on pale hips as Naruto bared his sharp teeth on flesh. He needed release. He needed it so bad.

"_Naruto," Sasuke replied. His deep voice sending an unmistakable shiver down the blond-haired ninja's spine. Naruto was quickly disgusted at himself for his reaction toward Sasuke. Just seeing Sasuke again was putting all his senses on alert and sharpening them tenfold. Why did Sasuke have such a affect on him? Naruto just couldn't explain it and a part of him didn't even want to_.

Sai made a sound of complaint when his pants were torn off. Naruto, his mind in a haze, paid no attention to Sai's discomfort as he placed a hand on Sai's chest and held him down. The crumbled blankets underneath them, curling around and tangling their limbs.

Battle _is always fierce and disruptive, but with Sasuke it was like a practiced tango. They connect and can easily anticipate each others moves. It was pointless but at the same time necessary. "Come back to the village with me, Sasuke." Naruto demanded. "What's the point on continuing to run away_?"

Naruto couldn't stand it. He pulled the pale thighs apart and he entered the body below him without preparation. Sai gave a cry of pain, his fingers digging into Naruto's shoulders. The blond didn't give the ex-root ninja a moment to adjust as he pulled out only to slam back in again. Naruto grunted at the heat and tightness as he sank his teeth into Sai's long neck.

"_I'm not coming back to the village, Naruto." Sasuke easily said. Naruto didn't want to hear that, he really didn't, it made his blood boil and his eyes turn crimson with frustration_.

Sai arched his back and hissed at the pain. His fingernails were breaking Naruto's skin and warm blood started to stream down his back.

"You _can't win, Naruto. You're surrounded…and so is Hinata." Naruto growled at Sasuke's threat, because he was right, he could do nothing, not right now. Hinata and the Intel gathered about the outpost came first. Naruto had to retreat. He couldn't do anything! He was going to return to the village empty-handed once _again.

The head of the bed collided against the wall, the legs scrapping along the floorboards with a horrible sound, and low moans, both of pleasure and pain, resounded in the air. Naruto shuddered then tensed with a powerful release. Then everything went still.

Naruto's blond hair hid his anguished-filled eyes as he pushed Sai aside and jaggedly climbed out of bed. He landed on the floor with a thud and leaned back against the nearest wall. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck…" Naruto repeated over and over again, his voice getting softer each time.

Above, on the bed, Sai attempted to sit up, but only fell back down again. Naruto can hear him breathing, it gradually evened out and then Sai spoke. "Some…some warning…would have been…nice." It was Sai's way of easing the tense atmosphere and letting Naruto know that he was forgiven.

But Naruto didn't want to be forgiven. "Sai," he began to say earnestly, "I can't do this anymore." He let his head hit the wall, hard. "I can't keep doing this." He felt so raw and broken. "No more…I'm done…I'm done with destroying myself."

Sai didn't say a word and Naruto was grateful for the silent understanding. He had to put everything behind him. Everything, meaning that those unsettling feelings he had for Sasuke, was to be purged and forgotten. He had to get a hold of at least one shred of normalcy in his life.

Naruto sighed. Tension began to leave his body and a center of calmness, that he thought he had lost, was slowly returning. Self-destruction really didn't suit him after all.

-END-


End file.
